Glitter Tumblr Themes

fasterfood:

imagine being a newborn baby. u could fuck with people so hard. like someone goes “oh, how old are you?” you go “55”. they get confused as fuck. “wtf? u dont look close to 55”. at this point u have the upper hand. you smirk, and say “55…minutes”. everyone gets a good laugh. imagine

pizzaforpresident:

I went to a party once and everyone was supposed to pitch in some money to buy adderall. I had never tried or even heard of it but I was young and stupid so I gave them 20 bucks. Later on, after we all took it, everybody was going crazy and having a good time and I was just sitting on the couch quietly so I googled ‘adderall’ on my phone and learned that it’s used to treat ADHD.

I have ADHD.

I paid 20 dollars to calm down.

versaceslut:

im that bitch that finds something funny and then has to send it to everyone

versaceslut:

im that bitch that finds something funny and then has to send it to everyone

ghost-anus:

ghost-anus:

accidentally offending a good friend

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purposefully offending a bad friend

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iamthekure:

no new leaf screen shot can beat this. It’s fact.

youngstero:

the funniest thing in twilight is when bella thinks that the guy she has a crush on might be a vampire so she goes home and just googles the word “vampire” it’s ridiculous but also exactly what I would do in that situation

lesbianlegbreaker:

superfuzzz:

even dead i’m better than u

Really? Because i busted out and you’re still stuck there. Enjoy your very tiny accommodations.

lesbianlegbreaker:

superfuzzz:

even dead i’m better than u

Really? Because i busted out and you’re still stuck there. Enjoy your very tiny accommodations.

mangomamita:

jorge balarezo crazy blind date 2014

mangomamita:

jorge balarezo crazy blind date 2014